Dog, Dog, Goose

Poly has hired the Geese Police Company to chase the geese of the campus

If you find yourself hopping over geese droppings less frequently than in the past, you can thank the Geese Police. In September 2019, Poly hired an outside company to reduce the number of geese on our campus. 

The company employs a dog named Ears to chase the geese off of the property without harming them. According to Head of Operations Matt Stelluto, they have been successful thus far in this feat.

 He said, “The grounds of the Upper Campus are a much more pleasant place to navigate due to the sharp decrease in goose droppings.”

Some students are skeptical of their success. 

Upon being informed of Ears’ role, Junior Juliana Baluk asked, “Where is this dog? I see a lot of poop.”

Freshman Charley Gorham said, “But aren’t the geese back or something? Is the dog really successful? It’s questionable.” 

Many students feel that the geese are an integral part of Poly. 

Gorham added, “I kind of like the geese. I think that the poop was a little bit out of control, but if they can hire a dog to get rid of the geese, can’t they hire someone to get rid of the poop? When I got to Poly there were geese, so I kind of miss the geese, honestly.”

Senior Nicole Roitman said, “I understand why they chased the geese away because they were pooping all over the place. But they brought a charm to Poly that I think Poly is sorely lacking without them.”

Junior Zac Seto said, “Why do the geese need to be chased away? They’re animals, too, they deserve to live here. I don’t remember one time where I stepped in geese poop. They’re usually out of your way anyways, so you shouldn’t really care about them. They’re not really a problem. Keep the geese!”

Junior Samantha Chan said, “I don’t think it’s right for them to bring in a dog to chase the geese out. It’s like a characteristic of Poly, that’s what makes Poly.” 

Other students simply didn’t seem bothered by the geese’s presence and felt it was unnecessary.  

Freshman Fiona Stephenson said, “I feel like they shouldn’t chase them off like they’re not doing anything.” 

Other students thought Poly was justified. 

Senior Nick Perez said, “The geese are detrimental to our ecosystem. The superfluous waste they generate throw off the balance of nitrogen and other nutrients in our ponds, accelerating eutrophication and rendering life impossible. I miss our fish.”

Junior Josh Spector said, “I don’t like the geese. Once, I was sliding for a ground ball in baseball practice and I slid into geese poop.”