As you walk through the halls at Poly, most days, you are met with smiling, happy kids. However, on the rare occasion, you will see stressed students quietly crying in the halls, and friends consoling each other in the bathroom, all while our guidance counselors remain neglected by the student body. 

A study conducted by NYU found that 49% of high school students feel a great deal of stress surrounding school work, and about 26% of teens reported feelings of depression at a clinical level. Additionally, according to K-12 Dive, an online publication that reports on educational news, about one-third of students are reluctant to seek help from their school counselors, and more than one-half are reluctant to see a therapist outside of school. Oftentimes, students believe that it is normal to face the stress and anxiety of teenage life on their own; that seeing a school counselor and therapist is a sign that they are weak compared to their peers. However, no matter how big or small you believe your problems to be, receiving help and support is never a waste of time. We all struggle; no one should have to go through it alone.

This pressure to handle everything alone often stems from a culture that prizes constant achievement and perfection. Written on the front page of the Poly Prep website, “The pursuit of excellence isn’t just a phrase, it’s an attitude that enables every student to achieve greatness both here and at every step beyond.” Certainly, Poly Prep is a school that expects success from its students, not just academically but beyond the classroom. However, no one is perfect; everyone struggles academically in some respects, and that’s not only OK, but it’s also healthy.

According to Connections Academy, a network of tuition-free, online public schools for grades K-12 that operates in over half of the U.S. states, struggling academically builds emotional perseverance, independence, and problem-solving skills. In this way, struggling academically is a part of the “pursuit of excellence.” Yet, students don’t often think of it in this way. Instead, they equate excellence to the score on a test, how many clubs they lead, the number of advanced classes they take, and what college they get into. 

However, according to an article in Mindful Health Solutions, a psychiatric practice specializing in evidence-based therapies for anxiety-related problems, this type of perfectionism can lead to extreme overthinking, a fear of failure, strained relationships, a fixed mindset, and harmful comparison. 

The most effective way to prevent these side effects from escalating is to seek support from someone, such as a school counselor. In a survey sent to the student body, 62% of students agreed, stating that they believe talking to guidance counselors would be beneficial. Despite this, about 79% said they don’t seek help from them, and 48% stated that they prefer to figure out their problems on their own rather than reaching out for guidance.  

Benjamin Marks, an Upper School Counselor, offered his explanation. He explained that because we have such well-rounded students here, who seem to seamlessly deal with all the stress and anxiety of being a teenager, each student tends to compare themselves to other students and believe that they are the only ones who struggle.  

 It is common for us as students to look at all the other excellent students around us and feel as if we are the only ones struggling, and thus feel inadequate comparatively. However, this is simply untrue. Considering that at least 49% of high school students experience a great deal of stress, it is extremely unlikely that only a small minority of students here do not feel that stress.

No matter how many A’s you have, sports you play, or clubs you run, everyone can benefit from an outsider’s opinion. Even the most high-achieving students will have moments of struggle; there is no shame in reaching out for help when it is needed. Talking with a professional about your stress won’t hurt you; it can only help. We are fortunate enough to have the resources here to get help at school, yet only 31% of students utilize them. If we as a community create an environment where it is normalized to talk about mental health, then people will realize that we all struggle; therefore, there’s no reason to struggle alone.